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Provisions Pinot Gris Honest Review: I Tried Every Boxed Wine So You Don’t Have To

A box of Provisions Pinot Gris

My honest review of Provisions Pinot Gris.

This is a series of posts designed to help you choose the right boxed wine for you. No one would ever pay me for my opinions, so you can rest assured my reviews are 100% unbiased ?

Overall value of the wine is primarily graded by taste and the number of ice cubes needed to make it drinkable. Wines are rated on a grading scale of F to A+, because wine rating systems are arbitrary and I like letters more than numbers.

So join me as I suffer through three liters of every Black Box, Bota, Barefoot, and whatever else I find on the shelves of Harris Teeter.

Provisions Pinot Gris Honest Review

Price Range

$16-$19

Origin

On the website, the appellation is just listed as “American Wine.” At least they’re being honest.

Packaging

Not as easy to pour as a Black Box. You have to push the button pretty aggressively to make the wine come out. No easy task when you have the dexterity of an arthritic mitten.

Otherwise, the packaging is really well done. It’s a little busy, but way more eye-catching and visually interesting than most boxed wine.

Tastes Like

The first time I tried it, it wasn’t chilled, so I naturally put in a few ice cubes. I was surprised by how decent it was — floral with white and orange fruits and low acidity. Probably because I watered it down so incredibly much.

The next night things took a turn for the worst. Without ice, there’s a weird taste that hits the very back of the tongue that’s almost like day-old mowed grass. It’s also somehow cardboard-y and metallic all at once. My friend who doesn’t really drink wine commented that it was medicinal, like cherry NyQuil, and then that’s all I could taste.

However, if you have ice cubes on hand, it is a fairly palatable wine. This box straight up vs. on the rocks are two different rodeos. The first one with nightmare-inducing clowns, the second with digestible clowns. You know, like the ones that make balloon animals.

# Of Ice Cubes Needed

At least 2. The ice gets rid of the weird aftertaste and makes it quite pleasant overall. After being watered down, you can taste the fruity, flowery aspects and I could definitely kill three liters of it in the summertime.

Food Pairings

I enjoyed this with sour cream and onion Pringles, and imagine it’d go well with any salty snack. 

Overall Value: C+

I was VERY excited to find a boxed white wine that wasn’t Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, or Pinot Grigio. Like most of my dreams, this excitement was quickly derailed and shattered. That being said, with my icy friends, this wine was fun enough to drink for a week.

Mostly, I need you all to drink this wine so they keep releasing boxed whites other than chard or sauv Blanc, so for that reason alone I give it a C+.


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