Barefoot On Tap Rosé Honest Review: I Tried Every Boxed Wine So You Don’t Have To

My honest review of Barefoot On Tap Rosé.

This is a series of posts designed to help you choose the right boxed wine for you. No one would ever pay me to write about this, so you can rest assured my opinions are unbiased.

Overall value of the wine is primarily graded by taste and the number of ice cubes needed to make it drinkable. Wines are rated on a grading scale of F to A+.

So join me as I suffer through three liters of every Black Box, Bota, Barefoot, etc and take myself way too seriously. 

Barefoot On Tap Rosé Honest Review

GENERAL INFO

Price Range:
$17.99 – 22.99

Origin:
California

Packaging:
Just like their normal bottles but bigger… much bigger. Has a nice pink ombre effect going on, which is about the only positive thing I can say about this overall experience.

TASTES LIKE

Undrinkable. I got this box to make watermelon frozé, as I’m prone to do, but after one sip I literally could not bring myself to put anymore of it inside of my body. It tastes nothing like the bottled rosé they produce, which is at the very least passable as a beverage made for humans.

I don’t say this often, this might be the first time ever in fact, but when it was all I had in the house one night, I opted for sobriety. SOBRIETY.

But to get to the point… first off, it tastes sweet. I love sweet wines, so I don’t hate it for this reason. I hate it because it’s sweet with absolutely no acidity or other normal wine qualities. It tastes like perfume, rose petals, terrible candy, and red syrup. It’s just no good, guys.

I’m so sorry if you like this wine. Both for shaming it and also because I pity your mouth and worry about the state of your taste buds.

# OF ICE CUBES NEEDED

See, I even tried this. I tried to make it better with ice cubes. I wanted to water down the cloying, weird flavors. But the ice didn’t help. No amount of ice cubes seemed to water down the inherent badness of this wine. You would need an ice cube plus a lot of powerful chemicals to make this palatable.

PAIRINGS

Preferably very strong vodka so you can fall into the oblivion of better times when you weren’t aware such flavors could be created by man.

Overall Value: F

I have never given a wine an F. I’ll throw out some Ds, sure — but never an F.

There is usually some redeeming quality that prevents a wine from utter and complete failure. But not this box. This box is cursed. I still have this box and have no idea what to do with it, because even I’m not cruel enough to try to pawn it off on an unsuspecting third party (i.e. friends).

So if I haven’t made it abundantly clear: do not buy this wine. Get their magnum bottle of rosé instead and thank me later.

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• Black Box Rosé Honest Review
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